"I've seen him grow a lot, and I've seen him get more comfortable with his position [as a celebrity]. But I also don't see any change in who he is."
- Kristen

"She's a brilliant actress. Breathtakingly beautiful, and furthermore, she has an unbelievable charisma. In front of the camera we harmonised perfectly, the chemistry just worked."
- Robert

Monday, 18 August 2014

Tears Of A Clown...

I have respectfully kept my silence in honour of a great man. A truly gifted, extraordinarily talented man. This post today is brought to you by the spark that was and still is in my heart, Robin Williams...

I want to ask each and every one of you, where will you be in 45 yrs time?
If you take into account Robert Pattinson or Kristen Stewart's ages right now, it will put them both in their early 60's - but where will you be?
You see i have had some time to think over what i wanted to write. Sure i could have designed my post, giving off hell over the lunatics, the cyber trolls who waste valuable time in everyone's lives by posting up their bile and sanctimonious wit - to call attention to themselves. And let's face it, they believe anything that falls out of the mouth of the media...and spread it around like bad fungus - i will get to the media, paparazzi et al shortly.

But instead i want to call this a tribute and maybe open some people's eyes to the world that they live in, the fantasy world that they live in and hopefully someone will benefit from all of this.

We as therapists are obligated to 'listen without prejudice' 'offer comfort when needed' 'remain passive when challenged'
WE are not the fixers of a problem. We are the reserved silence, that allows you to reach the precipice of your life on your own. I have read the media's twist on a tale, their deep respect riddled with sanctimony when they are so willing to produce lies, fantasy filled reports about a man, his family, that deserved the utmost respect during such a difficult, public time of mourning. I read the emotional entries of Robin's daughter, Zelda and how she acknowledged she and her brothers shared their father with the rest of the world and took comfort from the outpouring of grief and support...

I have read every person's point of view about depression and suicide and how it's a 'cowards way out' until my blood boiled and i had to take some time away on my own to make sense of Hollywood and the cyber analysts, who feel they have the right to make the last moments of a person's life, like some really bad script on a movie.

I was a teenager when i first saw Robin Williams make a guest appearance on a US TV show 'Happy Days' and then not long after that, his character had a TV show of it's own 'Mork and Mindy'
I loved his zaniness, his comedic timing, his gentle eyes and his wide open smile. As a teen i thought there was no one like him in the way he made you feel happy any time you watched him. Of course, over the yrs i have seen many of his movies and his comedic brilliance just got better and better. Although he did some serious character work, that made you sit up and go 'whoa' but he always came back to his comic roots. Because that's how he felt he was best understood and it added a slice of laughter to his own life. It wasn't a secret, his battle with severe depression and his addiction to drugs and alcohol, but it's that for me, that made him more human. In the field that i work in, i empathised with his struggles, his 'demons' as he called them - for we all have that darkness, within us.

The misunderstanding of Depression i feel has gone on unnoticed and brushed under the carpet for too long. People assume through blind ignorance, not understanding as not enough is spoken about it. That all it is, a fleeting mood of feeling down, of a few days feeling sorry for yourself and it's over and done with. To 'give yourself a shake, life is not all that bad' the crowning dismissal of something so profoundly devastating. I believe JK. Rowling summed it up wonderfully, when she has made it public knowledge the yrs she suffered from severe or chronic depression, by creating in her Harry Potter books the Dementors; the light goes out in your world and a darkness so deep, so dark, so heavy, that it blankets you. Traps your limbs so tightly, that you can't move with it. It's like all the happiness you have ever had goes out of your life and you are left an empty shell, filled with nothing...

cold and alone.
Dementors = demons.

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." -JK Rowling

Robin struggled with that demon his entire 'personal' life, the darkness that wants to drown you with it's insidious need. He fought and won those battles many times. His work, he threw himself into, because it escaped the darkness, for a little while. Taking your life is not the coward's way out. It's seen as a solution to the problem...a permanent solution. To reason and come to terms with why you feel that is the only way out, not for yourself, but for those around you who love you. But you feel that the love you give them is not enough and it takes a courage born from despair to take the pain away.

I have experienced in my own life with my husband's career in the Armed Forces - PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) the struggle was enormous, the stress from it exhausting. But in the end my husband was the one going through the struggle to make sense of what he had experienced and the silence that came with it.
Some people say that Cancer is a silent killer, because it sweeps through you silently, taken over your body and owning it. Depression is also a silent killer, because it renders you incapable of making sense of how you feel. It makes you ashamed, it makes you weak and it makes you withdraw into a world of very loud silence. So loud it's deafening.

If one thing can be learned, of celebrities that have passed on from this world; their inner battles they face when they are loved by so many - is that depression isn't choosy. It doesn't matter who you are or where you came from. It doesn't care if you have money fit for a Kingdom or you are as penniless as a church mouse.

Mental Illness doesn't care, with the onset of Parkinson's Disease, it makes it even more a powerful loss.

I adored Robin Williams, because he was in my life most of my young adult and adult life. I didn't fawn over him, or have him on such a high pedestal. I didn't fantasize about him or have blogs dedicated to him. I didn't go around exploding my ovaries, that unfortunately is the result of today's young society. I simply watched his movies, enjoyed his characters and his wonderful wit he brought to the world, he gave so much of himself, to stay the darkness away.
I guess the darkness finally won...

I know most of you in 45 yrs time will have moved on from Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. Eventually we all outgrow our idolising of only one actor/celebrity and entertainer. The media continues however, to spout and ridicule and capitalise on a celebrities life. How rich and famous they are, that they can afford the ridicule, the blood thirsty need to spread their pious opinion. The vile disgust i felt when the need to 'speculate' on the last hours of a man's life. A man that despite his celebrity status - deserved some medium of respect...

fuelled by the spectators sitting back and needing to know everything, we have created a monster in the form of social media, nothing is allowed to be kept private.
If there is anything you will take from this post, it's that life should never be taken for granted. If in 45 yrs time Robert Pattinson or Kristen Stewart have been fortunate to have successfully had a career that has spanned many generations, then they have been blessed. We can all feel that we deserve to be in their lives as fans but we are not. We are only on the outside looking in. When they close the door at night, slip off the mask they wear for the public to see. The performance is over and reality is sitting there, waiting for them in the wings. Might we afford them to make mistakes, to fall in love and try and hold onto it. To not take life so seriously and to not need the adoration of the applause to make them feel that this is the only reason they get up in the morning.

Might we empathise with their struggles that we each carry with us every day. Might we respect their right to privacy and not need to 'put on a show' the moment they step out the door?

Robin for me, i will remember him for his gift of making people laugh, even when he felt his own demons where mocking him. That he tried to make a good life out of the sticks and stones he was given. That with each movie he created another persona, another reason for everyone to love him. The love people had for Robin, was warm and encompassing. His love for making people laugh, for bringing joy to children, to adults and to the tireless work the Armed Forces of both men and women, who he felt deserved more of an accolade that he did.

With his twinkling eyes, his Mrs. Doubtfire spirit. For his need to soar freely like Peter Pan. For his cautious poetic take in Dead Poets Society - Carpe Diem Robin.
For his zany bursts of sporadic human understanding in Mork and Mindy, to breaking free with exuberance in Aladdin. His humble take of love in Happy Feet, to his forward leadership in the Night at the Museum - Robin Williams will live on in the hearts of everyone. For he truly was a brilliant, brilliant man and he should be remembered that way.
T xx

(the explanation of the age reference; 45 yrs is one person's life time, Robin was 63 when he passed on from this life. Both Rob and Kristen are in their 20's, in 45 yrs time they will be in their 60's)

Monday, 11 August 2014

Fools Rush In...

Well now...it's been an interesting few days hasn't it?
The call of the wild aka internet trolls with their vicious biased opinions.

Interviews (in print) from both Rob and Kristen, a few quotes put here and there but essentially an interview *based* on the journalists point of view...
"You think you know me, but you don't."

"Shit happens, you know?" he laughs. 'It's just young people...it's normal! And honestly, who gives a shit?"

Of course wherever there are interviews, there are those, who still don't understand the reason behind understanding 'Reading Comprehension'

Some treat it like a disease, because regardless the age, there are those out there who seem to suffer blind ignorance from it. To take a handful of quotes, speculate, evaluate and analyse to death. Before assuming he is meaning something referring to a split in 2012 (which didn't happen by the way - show the evidence that is 'not' been rumoured, suggested, assumed or speculated about in the gossip) and Kristen's (to those who revel in delight) supposed 'fall from grace'. (Esquire UK)

An article that began to speak about his career, but like all print interviews of late, if the subject doesn't give you what you are angling for - invent, tie in, editorialise the rest!
There are those out there who pander to the belief, that Rob Pattinson is a lying, cheating manwhore. Who spends his waking moments hanging out in bars, sleazing up to any female within spitting distance, shooting and snorting drugs - you name it and Rob has become the next generation of 'the young and the lost in Hollywood'
When of course he is not slapping people around (his haters believe he smacked Kristen around a bit, threatened her and even kept her locked in the house they share. Hanging out with like minded, drug addict friends.
(I guess Tom Sturridge is leading a double life away from his work, fiancée and daughter then?)

In the same breath...
You have in equal stupidity, those who believe that Kristen is a lying, cheating home-wrecker. The delight in bringing up 2012 in print interviews just to appease the gossip and speculation. To then try to define Kristen's now 'relationship' by asking whether she is dating Rob, Alicia or Nick (totally post edit interview) Kristen's reply was in par with Rob's in many ways - she refuses to discuss her private life...and yet the media, gossip bloggers, brain dead journalists and the haters of the world...want to. (Elle US)

Kristen is a serial cheater to the point, she has now turned to dating females, because the male populous is not good enough for her any more. A one time up and coming movie director apparently paid his wife handsomely to shut her cake hole (oh dear it hasn't worked then?) over this 'media invented' scandal, that rocked this fandom to the core and thus, created stupid idiots from it's rubble. Because in the same vicious breath, she is now dating Nick Hoult who she is currently working with on the movie Equals in Japan.

Desperation from the gossiping media (gossip is just nicely named lies) and haters of Kristen, who continuously spout their pathetic reasons why ..... dun, dun, dun ..... Rob and Kristen are not together.  Haters of Rob or Kristen, you must be really proud of yourselves. You give me so much new material, i can hardly contain the delight in sharing it with everyone else.

Fools rush in and believe every single article that is written about either, as if they penned the interview themselves.

Like i said - reading comprehension seems to be a disease they don't want to catch. Instead haters and gossiping media alike, sit in the dark, invent believable or not so believable scenarios in their heads and pass it of as insider (sourced) knowledge. The amount of experts i see hanging around the social network space - calling on anyone who will listen to them. That they 'know' what is going on in either Rob or Kristen's lives, get it through your thick, hate filled, obsessed minds...
The only two people who know what is going on with their lives...are not telling the media, the stupid grasping at straws journalists who come to interview them and make something out of nothing. The obsessed fans, who would rather invent a scenario than actually face reality. The vicious haters and their cyber trolling tendencies, their lives are so consumed by hate they cease to exist in an emotional environment.

Rob and Kristen have both made it abundantly clear, that they are not discussing their private lives for anyone to poke at, take apart and analyse. They learned their lesson in 2013, if you follow their pattern of behaviour regarding the media, and refuse to be seen where they will be photographed. Refuse to cooperate when the paps, rudely hunt them down and try and make money off their parasitic photographs.
That's not insider knowledge, for i have never been one or had time for those who pretend to be one either.

It's called common sense, it's seeing without inventing a story, a stupid piece of gossip or hate.
It's not putting one down in favour for the other, or spread lies; post up links and then spout out venomous hatred, because fools tell you a story and you stupidly believe it.
It's not looking at gossiping print and believing every single word the journalist has put there as a given fact. A handful of comments does not reveal the true story, especially when the interview lacks the questions posed. So forgive me for not jumping on my sword like some obsessed fans would want me to do...sadly i refer once again to the 'reading comprehension' suggestion and the fact, that very few understand what it means.

The hatred on Kristen is still very much forefront on a lot of peoples sanctimonious minds. It's bad enough bad mouthing Rob and his philandering ways, but to still drag a moment in time up repeatedly, when the young woman clearly has refused to discuss it - moving on with her life and getting on with her career. Inventing you know why she doesn't or constantly referring to it, shows a lack of common sense and respect to not only yourself, but to other women. But that's what we are dealing with in this sad state of a fandom - pious, vitriol and vicious sanctimony - all wrapped up in a female body and exorcised into the world wide web of 'i can say what i want, because it's called freedom of speech, the freedom of expressing my opinion.'

Opinions are like large amounts of gas building up in the body, eventually you let it go and it disappears into a cloud of methane.
Remember that the next time you feel your hate filled, putrid opinion, sees fit to express itself disrespectfully towards either - smelly gas is smelly.

I have always loved the Harpers Bazaar photo shoot. Not because it was a big 'we are together' or the fact that it sent the fandom into a tailspin. But because the photographer caught some really tender moments in the outtakes. Rob has never said a wrong word about Kristen and Kristen has never said a wrong word about Rob. Both are more fitting and more respectful to each other, than the disgusting fandom politics who follow them around.

Before judging a book by it's cover - read it.
Before judging a man and put him in a pile with all other men - understand him.
Before judging a woman and casting the first stone, because YOU believe she's a 'home-wrecker' hear her side.

No one in this fandom knows the real Robert Pattinson or Kristen Stewart, yet you see fit to express your opinions on both, based on negative attitudes and downright stupidity.
You would rather form your beliefs on the scattered lies of the media, the vicious rumours of those who don't want either together, through a perverse sense of loyalty and obsession.

Fools rush in and believe, because they are too lazy to think for themselves.

T x

Tuesday, 29 July 2014

The Great Pretenders...

I know, it's been a while since i have posted twice in a few days, but this i feel needs to be said.
Once upon a time, this fandom was created because of these two young, fresh faced actors.
Once upon a time, people believed in the connection, the chemistry, the attraction and the friendship, that was born out of fascination, unity and loyalty.

Now?
It's filled with cynicism, lack of respect, moralistic sub-purposes and holier than thou attitudes, that for this old timer (been around since 2008, and blogging the same length of time) is tired of witnessing, reading and at times such as this, responding over and over, until i hear the echoes of past 'calm the heck down' posts, rolling around in my head.
People have somehow lost their way. Too consumed in beating each other verbally with a dead horse, they have forgotten the very reason they joined this fandom in the first place?

Too many have been seduced by the media's outlandish and at the very most, comical interpretations of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart's relationship, that anything outside the 'box' is subjected to fandom scrutiny, verbal abuse and accusations of lying. Many i might add by those, who once upon a time believed in 'insider information' lived by it, in fact. Fandom CSI, was seen as a god send when they were able to 'dig up' clues, revealing side by side photos with red circles. Indicating with little 'hints' that Rob and Kristen, not only where together and let's face it, sharing body fluids of one description or another, but they also shared clothing, backpacks, friends, holidays, family...
You name it, the Fandom CSI shared it. Now, when a photo appears and red circles come out to play, it is laughed at. Ridiculed as 'desperation' by those who are looking at the possibility of a relationship still existing and therefore, mocked and called 'delusional'.

Once upon a time, this fandom knew of a dissatisfied fraction, who by their own choice, called themselves 'Nonstens' (non-believers of the existence of a relationship between Rob and Kristen.) They were a pretty bitter group of women, mostly die hard 'Rob fans' so the very idea he was with Kristen in a 'romantic' sense was preposterous, delusional, desperate and despicable.
They constantly tried to disprove the relationship, each time a photo appeared or a sighting happened "they are just friends, there is no romance between them, he (Rob) was seen leaving with 'blonde, tall, always a model"
(sound familiar?)
So much bitter, twisted hatred, jealousy and vitriol, over a relationship, that did and still does exist. But to those who wailed and taunted the 'believers' of said relationship, it was a PR contract, negotiations to promote the Twilight franchise, nothing more and nothing less.

You see for me, considering i was blogging and promoting this wonderful and unique connection, between two people in this emotionless industry, what i have observed now in this fandom, amounts to the same thing. 
Those who are constantly badgering others by suggesting, that to believe people who are going around with let's face it, their own version of the Fandom CSI (which by the way disappeared in 2012) are haters. A disgrace to the fandom of Rob and Kristen. Who are tricking fans, fooling fans, being made fools of...etc, etc - you get my drift?

The 'Nonstens' have disappeared and in it's place, they (those who hate the idea of a relationship) because of an incident in 2012, have 'infiltrated' for want of a better word, this fandom - causing doubt and insecurity. This fandom lost a lot of followers, who decided they could no longer follow this couple (through their own reasons) but i feel they instead or at the very least 'some' have come back under different guises. And have now joined the ranks of the haters, the naysayers, the once upon a time Nonstens, in a fight of words, strongly wrapped up in threats or accusations...and for what?

To prove a point, to proclaim 'i said so' without any proof whatsoever. Other than 'old timers' suggesting they 'know' better.
Poppycock! (love that word)

There is so much ill feeling, so much anger directed at each other. And if that's not bad enough, the call of 'open your eyes, open your minds' to what exactly, to your way of thinking?
Every one of us, is entitled to our own opinion, our own feelings and our own thought process. So i don't see why i or any other fandom member who has been around since the beginning, should be trying to persuade people to think or believe otherwise.

My only gripe in the 6 years i have been around, has been in the disrespect aimed at Rob and Kristen through the lying media (yes they do, they have lied and they will continue to lie, as long as stupid people click their links, support their sites and line (their) pockets with their stupidity)
But now it's turned into High School 'Sorority Wars' join my clique or else! 
It's nothing but cyber-bullying, it's as simple as that. You can call it what you want, but to bully or badger or ridicule someone else - a person you don't physically know or have no intention of ever knowing. But feel, because distance and internet usage allows you a certain amount of ambiguity, you feel you can say what you want and it holds no remorse.
Grown women, attacking other grown women. Naming them in posts, messages and indeed in most places, the foulest place of them all - Twitter. Getting others to mock and slander and then stand back with your hands up in the air, announcing you have 'no control' over what your 'cyber friends' do - bull!
This fandom is a breeding ground of 'liars vs liars' claiming one group are lying and tricking the fans, when they (the other group) have no proof to back up their accusation.

I have said this repeatedly, but it is obviously falling or deaf or ignorant ears, 
'bring it to the table and prove it!'
People want proof every single time there is a sighting or a rumour or a suggestion about Rob and Kristen, with 'prove it or shut up, pictures or it didn't happen'
Well if that is the case, prove these so called 'scum of the fandom' are lying. Prove they are tricking 'simple minded' fans, with their 'claims of cousins, or relations or rubbing crystal balls.'
Prove that what 'they' are saying are lies, with evidence to back it up!
Not just hearsay, rumour, suggestion or 'nod and a wink' i know, because i do and you just have to believe me.

I'm sorry but for me, i live by the code of evidence. I support everyone's right to an opinion, but if the opinion is just an opinion and has no proof - then it's just an opinion. And claiming people are lying based on your opinion is just a waste of time. You are no better than they are and therefore, have no right to judge others.

I have no argument with anyone in this fandom, i don't take sides, i have never followed any cliques and anyone who knows of me, know that i speak my mind.
But this dissension in the ranks of a fandom, that was once a very happy, social place to be. Where like minded people chatted amiably amongst themselves, but now...it's a depressing inner circle of bitterness and disrespect. I have heard many people say and i have said it myself, that this fandom is not what it used to be, but that doesn't mean it has to stay that way.
I have never felt stale. Blogging as long as i have, there has never been a time, where i felt the need to change the course of my beliefs. To stop believing in what i can see perfectly with my own eyes, or what i can feel with my own heart.

The media has never changed my mind, mainly because i have never allowed it. I suppose having family who work in the industry, has afforded me a cynical view of the media and how it has misrepresented the truth in the past, present and the future. It doesn't need to tell the truth, not when it's selling gossip and answers to no one unless, they over-step the boundaries between speculative gossip and exclusivity of the truth.
If you don't believe there is a relationship between Rob and Kristen, because there is no photographic evidence to point your eyes in the right direction, then why are you still here? Why visit places that do and attack with ridicule?
Same with believing the other information circling the inner realms of fandom scrutiny. If you don't believe it, why do you insist that it's nothing but lies? Why not just ignore it, like the constant rumours and suggestions the tabloid magazines have invented all these years? Oh that's right - you can't. You claim you ignore, but you just can't help yourselves. You claim the media tells lies to sell lies, and yet...the constant bevy of women, who seem to follow Rob around like he's some kind of Pied Piper of panty dropping, ovary exploding lothario, is the...truth?

Now that is some twisted irony, right there!

There are some Great Pretenders in this battled scared fandom. Some really convincing 'fandom experts' who use the very fact they have been around a while, to try and change people's minds.
If you believe - that is your choice.
If you don't believe - that is also your choice.
Anyone who tries to persuade you otherwise, are not doing it out of duty, out of respect or out of fandom loyalty to Rob and Kristen. 
They are doing it out of fear, fear of the unknown.

Do i know if the 'suggestions' that have split this fandom apart are lies or not?
No, i don't. But that doesn't mean i have the right to go around accusing others of lying, because i have no evidence to disprove what they are saying.
And it doesn't give others the right to do it either.
If you don't believe, ignore and pass it by.

Getting offended over it proves nothing, other than giving you a bellyache of resentment and that is simply not worth it. Hence i don't let it bother me. True i know many people in this fandom from both sides, but as i have already said in the post, i don't take sides, i don't follow cliques and i don't see why i should stop being friends with those, who do. I march to the beat of my own drum and i am old enough not to fall into silly, little fandom cliques or groups.
I joined this fandom in the summer of 2008, because of these two fresh faced actors, who had a connection, a chemistry that 'visually' could not be denied.
I met some wonderful people, some truly loyal and exceptionally giving people. I have seen quite a few of them come...and go.
But my faith, my belief, my respect and my admiration for these two, has never wavered, never faltered. Even when evidence to the contrary (led on by the media) tried to persuade me otherwise.

I am neither a Robert Pattinson or a Kristen Stewart fan, i am a fan of both. MY loyalty lies with both and that also goes with my friendships.

T x